SAT的4分作文及评分理由(一)

已有 344 次阅读  2012-07-12 11:16   标签brother  only  statements  remember  continue 

Essay

    Interestingly enough, I fall in the middle of these statements. I believe that one should remember the past and learn from those events. However, I also believe that many bad memories harm the present and the future. The only way to continue, many times, is to forget and forgive.

    My brother, who is college, has proved to me the importance of getting good grades and actively participating in extracorrecular activities. These two ideas helped him to get into the prestegious college of the University of Notre Dame. His education there will allow him to have a prosperous career as an adult. Reviewing these facts and ideas has led me to believe if I do the same, I will have a similar promising career. Consequently, I have gotten good grades and have seen interest from many prestigious programs.

    Through my knowledge, I have learned that in many bad instances, time to forget is very important. Ireland, for example, had been persecuted for many hundreds of years from 1000 AD to 1900 AD. After being granted the Irish Free State, they attacked many parts of Britain for retribution of those many years of being oppressed. Consequently there has been on going hostility between the two peoples. This hostility has cost the lives of many hundreds of people. A quote once said, "Violence begets violence" is the perfect phrase for this warfare. The only way to stop the loss of life is to forget and forgive; start anew.

    Different situations require different actions to proceed in a positive manner. Many times, people are required to use both elements. For example, let's forget this part and concentrate on how to bring this positive part into light. Both of the ideas on remembering and forgetting have their reasons for existing and both are positive.


Why this Essay Received a Score of 4

    This essay provides adequate reasons and examples to support both aspects of its point of view ("I believe that one should remember the past and learn from those events. However, I also believe that many bad memories harm the present and the future"), thus demonstrating competent critical thinking. The essay is generally organized and focused and features coherence and progression of ideas. Facility in the use of language is adequate, despite some inconsistencies ("Through my knowledge, I have learned that in many bad instances, time to forget is very important"). The essay also has some errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics. To earn a higher score, the writer should provide additional appropriate evidence and use critical thinking to extend the discussion of situations in which "people are required to use both elements." The essay demonstrates adequate mastery and receives a 4.

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