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这样的申请文书,赢得了耶鲁大学的青睐

这样的申请文书,赢得了耶鲁大学的青睐

“申请文书”也称为个人简介(Personal Statement),是美国学校录取审核过程的重要材料,是留学生向申请学校全方位展现自身能力最直接有效的渠道,甚至影响最终的学校录取结果。因此写好申请文书,能帮助留学生增加进入名校的概率。

《纽约时报》每年征集美国高中生对于金钱、职业和社会阶层方面的大学申请文书,并刊登其中最出色的文章。今天小编带大家赏析一篇优秀的申请文书。看看什么样的文书会被哈佛、耶鲁等顶尖名校看上?

(备注:《纽约时报》每年评选出来的文书都是精华中的精华,对准留学生来说具有非常高的参考价值)

申请者:Jeffrey Yu

录取院校:耶鲁大学

英文版:

My family is a matriarchy in a patriarchal community.

Not all sons of doctors raise baby ducks and chickens in their kitchen. But I do. My dad taught me.

While my childhood was spent in a deteriorating industrial town, my dad was raised during the onset of Cultural Revolution. After forgoing university so his sister could attend, my dad worked on a commune as a farmer.

So while I grew up immersed in airy Beethoven melodies each morning, my dad grew up amid the earthy aromas of hay and livestock. Every time that I look between our grand piano and our baby chickens, I’m amazed by the stark differences between our childhoods, and how in raising livestock, my dad shares a piece of his own rural upbringing with me.

Embracing these differences, my dad has introduced me to diverse experiences, from molding statues out of toilet paper plaster to building greenhouses from the ground up. So you might be wondering: What does he do for a traditional 9-to-5 job? He’s already captained a research vessel that’s navigated across the Pacific, designed three patentable wind turbines and held every position imaginable, from sous chef to Motorola technician.

The answer? Nothing. He’s actually a stay-at-home dad right now.

My family is a matriarchy in a patriarchal community. Accordingly, I’m greeted with astonishment whenever I try to explain my dad’s financial status. “How lazy and unmotivated he must be!” Many try to hide their surprise, but their furtive glances say it all. In a society that places economic value at the forefront of worth, these assumptions might apply to other individuals, but not to my dad.

When I look at the media, whether it be the front cover of a newspaper or a featured story in a website article, I often see highlights of parents who work incredible hours and odd jobs to ensure their children receive a good upbringing. While those stories are certainly worthy of praise, they often overshadow the less visible, equally important actions of people like my dad.

I realize now that my dad has sacrificed his promising career and financial pride to ensure that his son would get all of the proper attention, care and moral upbringing he needed. Through his quiet, selfless actions, my dad has given me more than can be bought from a paycheck and redefined my understanding of how we, as people, can choose to live our lives.

I’m proud to say that my dad is the richest man I know - rich not in capital, but in character. Infused with the ingenuity to tear down complex physics and calculus problems, electrified with the vigor of a young entrepreneur (despite beginning his fledgling windmill start-up at the age of 50) and imbued with the kindness to shuttle his son to practices and rehearsals. At the end of the day, it’s those traits in people that matter more to me than who they are on paper.

Stories like my dad’s remind me that worth can come in forms other than a six-figure salary. He’s an inspiration, reminding me that optimism, passion and creativity can make a difference in a life as young as mine. It’s those unspoken virtues that define me.

Whether it’s when I fold napkin lotuses for my soup kitchen’s Christmas dinner, or bake challah bread French toast sticks for my chemistry class, I’m aware that achievement doesn’t have to be measured empirically. It’s that entrepreneurial, self-driven determination to bring ideas to life that drives me. My dad lives life off the beaten path. I, too, hope to bring that unorthodox attitude to other people and communities.

All too often I’m left with the seemingly unanswerable question: “What does my dad do?” But the answer, all too simply, is that he does what he does best: Inspire his son.

翻译版-中文

我的家庭是父系社会中的母权制家庭。

并非所有医生的儿子都会在厨房里养小鸡小鸭。但我就会。而且是我爸教我的。

我成长在一个衰败的工业城镇,而我父亲的童年正值文化大革命。为了让姐妹能上大学,我的父亲放弃了自己上大学的机会,去公社当起了农民。

因此,我每天早上在贝多芬的悠扬乐曲中成长,我的父亲却是在干草和牲畜散发着生活气息的环境里长大的。每当我望向三角钢琴和小鸡时,我都会惊讶于我与父亲童年的鲜明差异,以及我的父亲是如何饲养牲畜的,父亲向我分享了他在农村的一段成长经历。

接受这些不同,父亲让我领略了不同的体验,从如何用厕纸制作石膏塑像,到如何从无到有建起一座温室。你可能想问:他朝九晚五的传统工作是什么?他曾经是驾驶着考察船跨越太平洋的船长,设计过三种可取得专利的风力涡轮机,从副厨到摩托罗拉技术员,一切你能想象到的工作他都做过。

现在呢?都不是。实际上,他现在是一名全职爸爸。

我的家庭是父系社会中的母权制家庭。因此,每当我解释父亲的财务状况时,都会得到人们惊讶的反应。“他这是有多懒,多没出息!”也有许多人试图掩饰他们的惊讶,但他们游移的眼神透露了一切。在一个把经济价值摆在重要位置的社会中,这些假设对其他人可能适用,但对我父亲不行。

我看媒体,不论是新闻头版,还是网站上的专题文章,都常常突出描写那些为了保证孩子能接受良好教育而长时间工作、一人做多份工作的父母。这些故事固然值得称赞,但它们往往会盖过那些不为人所知、像我父亲这样的人,他们的付出同样重要。

我现在意识到了,我的父亲牺牲了他前途大好的事业和钱财上的成就,以确保他的儿子能得到恰当的关注、照料和教育。父亲用他无私的举动给予我远远大于一份薪水所能买到的,也让我重新认识到,我们——作为人类——能如何为自己的生活做出选择。

我很自豪地说,我的父亲是我认识的人中最富有的——不是金钱上的富有,而是品格上的富有。他拥有解决复杂的物理和微积分问题的聪明才智,充满年轻创业者的活力(尽管他在50岁时才创立了一家正在起步的风车公司),会贴心地接送儿子去训练、排练。归根结底,对我来说更为重要的是一个人身上的这些品质,而非书面上的记录。

像我父亲这样的故事提醒着我,价值不只是六位数薪资这一种形式。他是一个启发我的人,他提醒着我,哪怕是对我这样一个年轻人的生活,乐观、热情和创造力都能带来不同。是这些无言的品质塑造了我。

不论是当我为救济厨房的圣诞晚餐折餐巾花的时候,还是为化学课同学烘焙辫子面包、法式吐司条的时候,我都知道成就不一定要用实证的方法来衡量。推动我前进的是这种创业者式的、自我驱动的决心,要让生活充满创意。我的父亲没有按着惯有的道路生活。而我,也希望为他人、为社会带去这样一种非正统的态度。

我时不时会面对这个看似无法回答的问题:“我的爸爸是做什么的?”但其实非常简单,答案就是,他做的是他最擅长的事情:给他的儿子带去启发。
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