I understand your situation. But I think your choice to 当凤尾 is a wiser one. Through competing with many peers who may be stronger than you, you can learn a lot more than 当个鸡头.
Actually, even after your go abroad and attend a top American school, you will face the same challenge.
But it is life, full of various challenges. Otherwise, what is the meaning of life?
So just try to do better at each step in your future. Don't regret for your past. You will have a splendid life! | 
