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teyvhf

The following is part of a business plan created by the management of the Megamart grocery store.
“Our total sales have increased this year by 20 percent since we added a pharmacy section to our grocery store. Clearly, the customer’s main concern is the convenience afforded by one-stop shopping. The surest way to increase our profits over the next
couple of years, therefore, is to add a clothing department along with an automotive supplies and repair shop. We should also plan to continue adding new departments and services, such as a restaurant and a garden shop, in subsequent years. Being the only store in the area that offers such a range of services will give us a competitive advantage over other local stores.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.


According to the business plan, the speaker argues that the Megamart grocery should add large range of services to their grocery store, which can give them a competitive advantage over other local store, by assuming that if the store meets the customer's main concern about the convenience afforded by one-stop shopping, it will be successful. Additionally, to support the conclusion, the speaker cites that the increase in sales after they added a pharmacy section to the store means customers like one-stop shopping.

At the first glance, this argument appears to be somewhat convincing, but further examination reveals that the speaker oversimplifies the relationship among adding a pharmacy section to the store, the increase in sales, and customer’s concern about convenience, and that he gratuitously assumes that by offering convenience services to customer, the store can compete over other local stores.

In the first place, the speaker commits a fallacy of "causal oversimplification", when arguing that the sales increased because of adding a pharmacy section. When two events occur simultaneously, it is uncertain that these two events are causally related. In fact, there are other possible alternatives. For example, this year, the number of customers who live near the store has increased because of more new departments offered, and as a result, the demand for grocery has increased correspondingly.

Moreover, even if adding a pharmacy section really help the store to increase their total sales, there is no evidence provided to support the assumption that it is because customer’s concern about convenience that the sales increased. For example, rise of the average price of the medicine also can increase the store’s sales. Therefore, correlated with the first point I analyzed, the claim that customer like convenience one-stop shopping is unwarranted, if such possibilities are not ruled out.

In the second place, the speaker rests on a gratuitous assumption that by offering convenience services to customer, the store can compete over other local stores. While, no evidence is provided to support the assumption. In fact, it is not necessarily the case. For instance, as you know, as the number of services types in one store increases, the service costs generated are increased geometrically, which ultimately decline profit, a key competitive factor. Thus, if the speaker can give stronger evidence to prove the assumption is right, the conclusion it draws will be more convincing.

To sum up, because the argument leaves out several key issues analyzed above, it is imprudent for the Megamart grocery to add a large range of services to their grocery store. I would suspend my judgment about the credibility of the argument until the speaker can convince us that 1.customer like one-stop shopping, 2. by offering convenience services to customer can let the store compete over other local stores.

谢谢啦！！！

himba

第一为什么要分那么多的段 一般分段是让文章 脉络清楚 第二 只有378个字吧 最好上400 这样保险 第三 第一段最好有一个承上启下的句子比如 accroding to the argument mentioned above ,i `d like to point out serveal flaws in the this argument . 其实细节方面 不需要太在意 只要不要太多的错字就可以了，很少人会每一句看你的文法 个人意见 纯粹参考