The advantage I had in writing my book proposal was that I had stirred the interest of a literary agent. During the summer between my two years at HBS, I had spent three months writing a novel. It was an odd thing for an MBA student to do. I should have been doing an internship somewhere. But as I said, I wasn't committing. And I really wanted to write this novel. I had begun it while living in France and had a storage box full of notes and research. So finally, I took the time and did it. And when I'd finished it, I sent it out to a bunch of agents and publishers. And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
All said no, except one. Or rather the assistant of one, whose job it was to read these unsolicited submissions. She liked it and passed it to the agent, who finally e-mailed me months later, on a rainy Saturday afternoon, to say she was enjoying my book and that I should get in touch next time I was in New York. It was much more exciting for me than my second-year MBA job search.
I met the agent for lunch and she told me that first novels were impossible to sell and that if I ever had a nonfiction idea, I should get in touch.
A Strain on the Family It was disappointing about the novel, but after graduation, I sent her my proposal for a book about getting my MBA. She liked it and set about selling it. Five months after leaving HBS, I had a publishing deal. Five months after that, I received the first installment of an advance.
In the meantime, I made a living writing, raising sponsorship money for a PBS documentary and consulting for an online news service.
It wasn't easy for my family. Even those closest to me wondered what I was doing, why I had walked past the rewards a Harvard MBA was supposed to offer.
But each time I made a dollar in this ramshackle, chaotic way, that was unique to me; I was excited in a way I never was when I received a monthly paycheck.
Each week that passed in which I managed to pay the bills was a triumph. Some weeks were better than others. But over time, I felt more confident about living a life like this, pursuing work I enjoyed, somehow making ends meet.
Insecurity and freedom are not that far from each other. Some days I felt the former so strongly I would start looking for salaried employment. Others, I felt the freedom and knew I wanted nothing else. There were days when I'd be in a library at 11 in the morning, writing or researching and feeling extraordinarily happy. Other days, I was worried sick about money and the future. Every day I didn't have a regular job was both a commitment to a freer life and a rejection of what most people regard as security.
It still feels that way, though with a little success, the whipsaw between the two becomes milder.
There was a professor at Harvard Business School called Joseph Lassiter who gave us some great advice on entrepreneurship. He said that it wasn't a choice of career, but a choice of life, and you needed to think about setting your whole life up to give yourself even a shot at succeeding.
Your professional life would be volatile, so put yourself in a place where your personal life would be stable. Don't move to San Francisco for the hell of it if you don't know anyone there. Go somewhere where you are trusted. Where you have friends and family to vouch for you. Where you'll have a sympathetic bank manager. Go home if you have to.
Explain what you are doing to the people who are most important to you. Tell them not just what you're doing, but why you're doing it. Why it's important to you to do this kind of work. Why you are ready to take these risks. Don't assume everyone will understand when you take a less conventional path.
You want the reward of fulfilling work, work which is expressive of who you are. Work that rewards your uniqueness, not your ability to conform. Explain this to yourself and to others. Write it down.
A Letter to Myself Before I left my job as Paris correspondent for The Daily Telegraph to go to HBS, I wrote myself a letter explaining why I was making this decision. I did it because I knew there would be moments when I would question what I was doing.
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