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Essay Example
Prompt: Please take this opportunity to write about your interest in Hamilton and, particularly, why you believe it is a place where you can thrive. Be open. Be honest. Be brief. (250 words max)
To My Darling Hamilton,
A flower so lovely, a heart so tender, Hamilton, we’re so perfect together that I’ve resolved to spend the next phase of my life in your endearing bosom.
As an individual drawn towards medical research (and you, of course), I relish the privilege to expand on my medical interests in your Clintonian environment. I hope to work under Professor Vikranth Bejjanki in his unique research on using functional neuroimaging and computational modelling to discover novel ways of seeing the world. Hamilton, through your exhaustive courses like Cellular Neurobiology (357S) and your unique research opportunity with the Summer Science Research Fellowship, I’ll receive full-immersion experience that will help me achieve my aspiration of inventing a system that identifies and kills neurological tumors non-invasively.
I believe an individual must have a well-rounded education; you, my love, recognize this. Thus, while Professor Siobhan Robinson’s lectures would help shape my academic success, your Emerson Foundation Grant Program is crucial for enriching my curricular experience with solid out-of-class experiential knowledge.
Oh, I see myself rummaging the 100+ laboratories in Taylor Science Center in search of deeper knowledge after taking on LRGG-funded researches—avenues crucial for my development as a scientific maestro. Meanwhile, with my fellow Continentals, I’ll be able to impact lives by transferring my Hamilton-instilled knowledge to younger generations through your HAVOC and LGR volunteering programs.
Hamilton, your ‘light’ and ‘dark’ sides are the perfect vantage points for my well-rounded development. My darling, I can’t wait!
With love,
To-be-Continental Stephen.
What the Essay Did Well
Right off the bat, this essay gets points for the creative format. The idea of turning a basic “Why School?” essay into a love-letter to the college is so original and adds an extra level of charm to the essay. This doesn’t mean that you should write your essays as letters, but think of ways you can play with the traditional structure and it will really help your essay stand out.
On top of the creativity, this essay is jam-packed with opportunities and programs that are unique to Hamilton. This is the key in this type of essay. Your response should be highly-tailored to the specific school and explain how you will use each resource to achieve your future goals.
This student doesn’t just name-drop professors and classes, he connects them to himself. We know that he wants to work with Professor Bejjanki to study functional neuroimaging so he can see the world in a new light. He wants to take Cellular Neurobiology so he can develop the skills to one day invent a non-invasive tumor killer. We don’t just learn why he wants to go to Hamilton, we also learn what his aspirations are after college, which makes him seem more impressive than a student who just wants to take a biology class so they can get into medical school.
What Could Be Improved
There’s not much that this essay needs to improve upon, however one small suggestion would be to make sure it doesn’t get too lost in the love-letter metaphor. The essay had a good balance of creativity and practical response, but it did feel a little heavy-handed at the beginning and end. It’s important that if you do choose a non-traditional essay format you don’t overshadow the actual content of your essay and leave the admissions officers reading your essay feeling lost or confused. |
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