Essay

    I think it is wrong to believe that to move up the ladder of success and achievement, that they must forget the past, repress it, and relinquish it. Everything you did and saw in the past helps you to move on. Every single happy moment, every mistake you make is getting a part of you. Your actions become habits which creates your personality and helps you to make your own experience. Therefore memories help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present. Everything we do has to do with our experiences in the past, the way we get along with people or treat them, the way we turn out to be an adult. If you don't live with making your own decisions, mistakes, and your experience with people and the world or school you won't have any examples to compare or to handle any coming situations in the future. If you get everything told you by someone, you will always wait for other people to make decisions for you and won't have your own point of view. For succeed you have to know what you want, to find that out, you have to have been through some difficult situations in the PAST.

Why this Essay Received a Score of 2

    Although it expresses a point of view ("I think it is wrong to believe that to move up the ladder of success and achievement, that they must forget the past, repress it, and relinquish it"), this essay is seriously limited, exhibiting weak critical thinking, insufficient use of evidence, and serious problems with progression of ideas. The essay also demonstrates frequent problems in usage, grammar, and sentence structure. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to develop the point of view with reasons and specific examples instead of merely repeating the same vague ideas ("Everything you did and saw in the past helps you to move on. . . . Everything we do has to do with our experiences in the past"). The essay demonstrates little mastery and is scored a 2.