interlove11

Unlike most severance packages, which require workers to stay until the last day that they are scheduledto collect, the automobile company's severance package is available to workers.
从句中which 代指 s packages, that they are中的they也代指 s packages, 相同主语情况应该省略
所以that they are scheduled to collect出现了wordy

Manhattan 中说的语法三原则，GMC(Grammar, meaning, concision)
我觉的concision挺重要的，也常被忽略，比如通常在实际句子中，通常主动>被动(for concision),一般时态>完成时等等
还有类似于can do 优于be able to do, 优于have the ability to do,优于have the capability to do等等。
都符合这种情况